Walter Jacobson, M.D.

Walter Jacobson, M.D.

Posted August 27, 2010

Published in Lifestyle

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Bereavement: Dealing With The Loss Of A Loved One

Read More: bereavement, dealing with loss, grief, inspiration, love, self-help

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I was asked by a Facebook friend to offer advice as to how to cope with the loss of his father. This is what I wrote to him:

Regrettably, a loss of this nature is not a simple thing to cope with. We must accept the passing of our loved ones, appreciating that the pain will get less over time.

Instead of focusing on mourning the loss, we turn our attention to celebrating the person's humanity and spirit, appreciating what a blessing it was to have that person in our life.

We focus on emulating their goodness so that they live on in us and in our good deeds and in all the people whose lives we touch.

Life After Death?

People have their own beliefs about life after death. I personally believe that the spirit is eternal, that the body dies but the spirit lives on forever in eternal peace and joy.

I believe that when we die we are reunited with our loved ones, if that is what we desire, and that leaving this earthly plane is not the end of the story but is actually the continuation of an eternal, spiritual dance of love, light, joy and harmony. These perspectives help ease my pain.

That being said, the bottom line is this: Regardless of whether there is an eternal heaven we all will one day enter or not, when our loved ones leave us, we must mourn their loss, cherish their memory, and then move forward in our lives rather than dwell on our sadness.

We must accept the way of things without anger, bitterness, guilt or shame, attend to our responsibilities, and nurture those who are alive who we dearly care for.