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From: Keith (
Subject: Re: very interesting.
Date: December 19, 2005 at 12:56 pm PST

In Reply to: very interesting. posted by vv on December 19, 2005 at 12:05 pm:

An attachment, in Buddhism, is any desire. Typical attachments are: wishing a pleasant thing would last forever (nothing does), wishing an unpleasant thing would cease (they all do eventually), wishing that things would be other than the way they are. The typical "gotcha" attachment for relationships, no matter how mature they mey otherwise be, is wishing it would last forever.

If my relationship were to end, I would experience major suffering. That suffering would be caused by the attachment of wishing it would last forever. If I didn't have that attachment, I wouldn't have that suffering. It is neither a good thing nor a bad thing; it is just what happens when I am unskillful. If I had the mental discipline to enjoy the relationship to its fullest and yet be accepting if it were to end, that would be an unattached relationship, and would produce no suffering.

But I don't yet have that skill. Knowing that gives me something to work on. Knowing how suffering is related to my own attachment allows me to accept it without blaming, and to use it as a motivation to make further progress.

Does that help clarify what attachment is?


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