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From: Lennie M. (
Subject:         Thank you and context
Date: August 23, 2014 at 11:08 am PST

In Reply to: Re: I knew you better than most, and you know it. posted by Roger Haeske on August 23, 2014 at 1:14 am:

It was hard for me in the beginning because of how close I was to
Doug. But I'm not close to Doug anymore, I haven't spoken to him
in years. I began talking about it when several people came to me
privately and expressed how important it was for me to share to
make sure other's didn't get hurt. When I came back to the
community and saw what was happening on the discussion boards I
was appalled. Censoring was bad when I left, but it had only gotten
worse. Doug used to allow for fair discussion and that disappeared.
When he claimed my account wasn't true, and deleted my posts to
the contrary, any ounce of loyalty I may have had left died. He
brought this all on himself. Karma… ouch.

People need to know it's not all rainbows and moonbeams in 811rv
and up until now the community has silenced every attempt to say

My pregnancy was lost because it was the only way for me to
recover my health. I terminated it, it was my decision. My choice
was try to carry to term and face birth defect, miscarriage mid-way,
or potentially my own death, or terminate and recover my health. I
was also informed that it wasn't just this pregnancy, my body can't
support any pregnancy, I don't produce enough progesterone
anymore and I have to supplement it to keep my health baseline. So
I can conceive, but I run the risk of all of this happening again once
I do. I was 28 when I received this bit of info. I was 28 when I quit
events. I was 29 when I quit FNS. I was 30 when I declared a new
life for myself.

I'm closing the gap to 34 now and my art studio is my baby. If we're
lucky, we get better and move on. My life now is abundant and
blessed. I'm surrounded by so much love, support and generosity;
truly the most beautiful and kind people I've ever known. I'm free
and creative. My health is stable. I rebuilt myself. The condolences
are sincerely appreciated, but this is all old stuff for me. And
compared to Leah, I consider myself lucky.

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