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From: bethaniej (
Subject: I married meat...
Date: February 18, 2002 at 5:17 pm PST

I'm not sure how to start this, only to say that prior to getting married, I was a mostly vegetarian for most of my adult life. From 18 to twenty five. I was athletic, I ate a mostly plant based diet. My weight was under control...etc.

Then I got married, not just to any meat eater, but to someone who lived on a basic diet of meat and rice/potatoes/pasta...very few vegetables. I never realized how big of a deal this was (we just eat differently, what's the difference?).

So here I am, six years later. I woke up one day and realized I was really unhappy, and that more than that, if I didn't do something to change myself (not my spouse, but myself), I didn't know what I would do. I had become a meat eater, I had gained wait...and I was living in the understanding that things would most likely continue as they were unless I changed. And I couldn't imagine a 'rest of my life' lived that way. It wasn't a life I wanted to live.

No, it wasn't all about food. It was about things always being the same. It was about nothing ever changing...or changing for the worse. And food was a big part of that.

My husband and I are now seperated. After many discussions, we decided that it was best for both of us to be apart at the moment. We love each other...but I want to change. He refuses to (not speaking just of diet, but of lifestyle). And that's his choice to make. We have a four year old who's with me. After he left, we started (not even intentionally) cutting out meat. Eventually we ate it twice a week, then once, then not at all. I've found that for myself, in my own natural habitat ;), I am not a meat eater. If it is up to me, I simply don't eat it. I was always that way, and I gave that up being married (that's very sad when I think about it). I am beginning to make a bigger commitment to it, also cutting out dairy products (now we are down to cheese).

It IS a better life. In five months, I've now lost more than fifty pounds. At first I just wasn't eating because it was a difficult period. But when I stared wanting to eat, I just naturally made better choices about what I put into my body, and the weight loss has slowed, but continues. I look and feel better than I have in seven years. And I realize that I was...sorry to be radical...but I was poisoning myself. By 1) making a choice that went against who I was for someone else and 2) consuming WAY too many/much animal products.

We made it through the cold and flu season without getting sick at all. Actually I started to get a cold, but it was gone within three days. For the past seven years, I would get a cold and it would last a month.

It's just a better life. It has been a big lesson to me, in what happens when a person compromises his/her belief system to be with another person.

It really is an awakening. I have found that the person I was/wanted to be, was there all alone. Just waiting for me to figure out I was making the wrong choices. Just waiting for me to come back to myself.


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